


We Reach For the Stars

by maebh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 20 Hours in America, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Congresswoman Leia Organa, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone good is a democrat, Everyone is ridiculously smart, F/M, Fair amount of swearing, I apologize in advance for political jargon, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Political AU, Political Campaigns, Rating May Change, Redeemed Ben Solo, Sorry Not Sorry, You should watch it, also I know Rey isn't a Kenobi but for the purposes of this story I made her one, background stormpilot, he's still got issues though, lots of west wing references, the title is from the west wing, there's a lot of swearing in politics fun fact
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-06-14 09:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15385881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maebh/pseuds/maebh
Summary: A Modern Reylo Political AU*ON HIATUS*-----------------Ben sighed  “This can't be a place for people to come to find their confidence and start over." he said,Rey threw her hands up “Why not? Why can't it be those things?” she asked“What did you major in?” Ben asked. He was two steps behind her scowling.“Political Science, with a Social Work focus-”Ben scoffed. “So what almost every intern that works here majored in. Except they're either from Leia’s district or Ivy League. With impressive GPA naturally. They want a job with the second highest ranking Democrat in the House, and vice-chair of Oversight. ” he said.Rey turned around seething “-and Environmental Engineering, with an Economics minor. I graduated Summa Cum Laude. Moreover, asshole I did get accepted into Ivy Leagues. Which are beyond expensive.” Rey glared daggers, “Honestly, you work for the champion of affordable higher education. I’d expect you to be less pretentious. Especially considering your boss also went to a state school." she said,He looked to Leia for help.“Mom-” he said,Leia started laughing. Horror flooded Rey.Equally mortified, Rey asked “Mom?”





	1. Abrasive Son of a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in seven years, but I needed some kind of fictional escape where I had control of what happens in American politics.  
> So here we are.  
> God Bless America.  
> catch me at: https://mvebh.tumblr.com/

There was a girl with a backpack standing in Ben’s office. Her blazer was a just a bit big, black, and didn’t quite match the black of her pants. She was a lost intern at best. At worst, a recent graduate who’d been rejected and was scavenging for work. Those were the only strangers that braved his office. “Who are you?” he asked,

She offered her hand, smiling “Rey Kenobi.” she said,

He walked past her taking off his coat. “Why are you in my office?” he asked,

Her hand fell to her side. “The woman at the front, Amanda? I was told to wait here” she said,

She wobbled in her heels. “Jessika?” he asked

“Right.” she said “I’m your new assistant”,

Ben raised his eyebrows “Did I have an old assistant?” he asked,

“Maybe not,” she said,

“Jessika has an annoying habit referring me people with sad stories,” he said,

Rey’s face reddened. _I didn’t tell her my sob story_ , Rey thought. She hated pity. “I’m sorry?” she asked,

“Your blacks don’t match, you can’t properly stand in those shoes, and you’re carrying a backpack. My guess is you just graduated, you aren’t from DC, and you want to start over. Reinvent yourself, fix the system from the inside, or some other naive bullshit.” Her eyes narrowed as her nostrils flared. Ben sighed “This can't be a place for people to come to find their confidence and start over." he said,

Rey threw her hands up “Why not? Why can't it be those things?” she asked,

“Ben, if you are harassing another intern from the press office, I swear to God,” said a voice from around the corner.

Both instantly recognized the voice. Rey’s eyes widened, and she stood a little straighter. Ben fell into his chair exasperated. He sighed.

He said, “Congresswoman, Plea-”

She rolled her eyes. “Ben, honestly. She’s right. How can I ask for people's votes on the premise of improving their lives if I’m not willing to do that on my own campaign?” she asked,

Rey fought the desire to smirk, hoping the Congresswoman wouldn’t notice.

He noticed. Intellectually he already knew he’d lost, but his pride didn’t. “Leia-” he said,

“What’s your name dear?” Leia asked,

Rey allowed herself a slight smirk. He fumed, sinking further into his chair.

“Rey Kenobi ma’am,” she said,

Leia offered her hand “Leia Organa, it’s a pleasure Rey” she said

Rey shook her hand, trying to remember what her grandfather taught her about a firm impressive handshake.

“The pleasure is all mine Congresswoman,” she said. She let go of Leia’s hand fearing she’d shook for too long. Ben snickered from his chair. Rey flushed.

“Please, call me Leia dear. It's only Congress -” she laughed “-no need for formalities. Especially since you’ll be working with us.” she said.

Ben looked up from his paper. He’d been expecting his mom to offer Rey a volunteer position. If only to spite him. But volunteers didn’t work with or near him.“Working with us?” he asked,

Leia ignored him and gestured Rey down the hall toward her office. “Come, dear, tell me about yourself. Do you have a resume?” she asked,

Rey’s eyes sparked “Yes, I do!” she said. She grabbed the paper she’d been trying to give Ben. She offered the paper to Leia, who’d begun walking to her office.

Reading she said “University of Oklahoma? I was expecting somewhere more….. British.”,

“My grandfather and I moved there when I was twelve. I haven’t actually been to England since. He had the accent too,” she shrugged, “it just stuck” she said,

“What did you major in?” Ben asked. He was two steps behind her scowling.

“Political Science, with a Social Work focus-”

Ben scoffed. “So what almost every intern that works here majored in. Except they're either from Leia’s district or Ivy League. With an impressive GPA naturally. They want a job with the second highest ranking Democrat in the House, and vice-chair of Oversight. ” he said.

Rey turned around seething “-and Environmental Engineering, with an Economics minor. I graduated Summa Cum Laude. Moreover, asshole I did get accepted into Ivy Leagues. Which are beyond expensive. ” Rey glared daggers, “Honestly, you work for the champion of affordable higher education. I’d expect you to be less pretentious. Especially considering your boss also went to a state school." she said,

He looked to Leia for help.

“Mom-” he said,

Leia started laughing. Horror flooded Rey.

Equally mortified, Rey asked “Mom?”,

Leia was still laughing. “Yes, this abrasive son of a bitch is mine,” she said, still laughing, “ I needed a new personal aide after Ben scared off the last one. Obviously, that won’t be a problem for you.” she said,

“Personal aide,” they said,

Ben’s jaw dropped. Rey looked as if she would burst. Leia ushered Rey into her office and shut the door. Ben stood outside. He blinked a couple times. He ran his hand through his hair and turned back towards his office.

Rey thought she’d at best get an assistant position to a staffer. She didn’t expect an offer for an actual senior staff position.

“I know it’s not the most glamorous staff position, but you’ll get to see this up close. I’d like to merge the aide position to serve a legislative assistant role. Especially during the Senate campaign. I love that you worked on Maz Kanata’s reelection campaign for Oklahoma’s 5th. Her recommendation is glowing. It’s a shame she’s retiring from Congress.” she said, “She’s going to run for Governor though isn’t she?” she asked,

“Yes ma’am,” Rey said. Her body tingling from the asshole induced adrenaline rush.

“Leia, call me Leia.” she said, “Regardless, she called me yesterday to tell me you’d be coming in for an interview.”

Rey’s eyebrows shot up. “You knew I was coming?” she asked,

“Oh of course. I may have made sure you ended up in Ben’s office. My personal aide doesn’t answer to him. You will work closely with him." she said,

“I’m so sorry-” Rey said,

“Don’t be. I love him dearly. But he's an abrasive son of a bitch. A brilliant political strategist though. That why he’s Legislative Director, it's not only nepotism." she chuckled "I actually can’t remember the last time he called me Mom in a professional setting” she said. She chuckled again, “a testament to you much you terrified him. He’s had a habit of steamrolling other members of my staff. Most of them have learned to push back, but my last few personal aides. They weren’t anything to write home about, mostly competent, a little dull. Mitaka, poor thing. He was terrified of Ben.” she said,

Rey blinked at her. “Terrified?” she asked,

“Mitaka jumped every time Ben came in the room. I thought he has a crush at first. But, alas. Someone told him Ben had nearly killed his father because he made a bad joke.” still looking over Rey’s resume. she said, "My bet on is Dameron."

“Did he?” Rey asked.

“Did he what dear?” Leia asked, distracted by reading the qualifications she hadn’t yelled at Ben.

“Nearly kill his father?” she asked, half amused by Leia’s obvious ambivalence to the apparent near patricide. Her other half was concerned about the prospect of working with a man who didn’t react well to teasing. Sarcasm, especially at the expense of others was almost instinct for her.

“Well, not strictly speaking,” Leia said. She looked up.

Rey raised her eyebrows, she asked “Not strictly speaking?”,

“It was mostly an accident. We were at an event, and Han made a joke at Ben’s expense. Ben elbowed him a little too hard. Han,” she paused, smiling at a spot behind Rey's head, “Well Han fell back, and hit his head before tumbling into the pool. We took a nice family trip to the ER, but that was hardly the first time or the worst.” Leia said,

“Dear Lord,” Rey said. She looked over her shoulder. Half expecting to see him standing there mid scoff. He struck her as the sort of person who scoffed often. “I should probably learn to swim,” she said.

Leia looked at her amused but confused. “Oh?” she asked.

“Well, I’m most definitely going to make jokes at his expense” she grinned, “I’d rather not drown,” she said.

“Can you start Monday?” Leia asked. Leia offered her hand.

Rey took it. “Yes,” she said.

“Go home, sleep. Enjoy the weekend. At the rate Snoke is going you’ll be amongst the ranks of tired, yet tireless congressional resistance.” Leia dropped her casual air. She became Representative Organa “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful and committed citizens can change the world. You know why?” she asked,

“It's the only thing that ever has,” Rey said

Leia nodded. She stood and walked towards the door. “Get some sleep, Rey,”  
Rey started toward the open door. “On Monday we give them hell,” Leia said.

Rey could feel the goosebumps under her shirt sleeves “Yes ma’am” she said,

Leia raised her eyebrows at Rey. “Leia” she corrected.

Rey nodded “Leia.” she said and left

A few minutes later Leia heard Ben stomping through the hall. Leia could make out Rey saying “See you Monday, asshole.” his office door slammed shut.

Leia picked up the phone. “I hired her Maz, you're right. They’ll either murder each other or fall madly in love,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things, the exchange Rey and Ben have before Leia shows up is a slightly altered version of the convo Josh and Donna from the West Wing have in S2E1 'In the Shadow of a Gunman'. It really screamed "this could be Reylo" to me. Thus, here we are. Expect a lot of TWW references in this fic. I'll try to note all of them, but honestly, at this point, the entire show has seeped into my bones, and sometimes I don't even notice. Feel free to call it out if you see it though!   
> For the purposes of this fic I made Rey grow-up in Oklahoma. Why? Because of Oklahoma's impressive amount of political problems, it isn't a desert, but it is a wasteland. I imagine it would inspire Rey to get involved politically.  
> if you ever have any questions about anything feel free to ask at; https://luminescentbeings.tumblr.com/


	2. Utraque Unum. Civi et Reipublicae.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey groaned. “We’re going to kill each other,” she said.
> 
> “Oh! Look! ” Finn said, “ My fortune cookie says ‘soon your best friend will kill a man, learn where to hide the body, or get a lawyer.” he said, “I’ll help you hide the body. I can’t afford a lawyer. Do you think the Potomac River to obvious?" he asked,
> 
> Rey groaned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> round two: sorry took a minute, but I've already got most of chapter three down too. So it should be a shorter minute for the next.

 

Leia shut the door behind Rey, as she started toward the exit. She noticed him hunched over his computer in the room she’d been ushered into only an hour or so before. Looking at him triggered what adrenaline remained from earlier. She glanced down at her blazer and pants. She felt her face flush. _The blacks don’t match. she thought, What asshat tells a person their blacks don’t match? What kind of condescending elitist bullshit is that? Malicious prick-,_

“Are you lost?” Ben asked,

She didn’t know how long been standing at his door, glaring.  “See you Monday, asshole,” she said, walking away. He stomped after her, but before he could catch up she slipped out the door. Rey made a few steps when a door slamming shut reverberated through the wall.

 _Elitist asshole_ she thought stepping out on to the National Mall.

\-----

Finn and Maz were waiting for her in the kitchen, wine in hand.  Over the past few weeks, it’d become ritual to share a glass of wine and let loose. Rey’s heart twinged a bit. She’d miss coming home to this. Maz had welcomed Finn and Rey into her home without hesitation. She’d insisted they stay with her while until they found an apartment. Tuesday they’d found the perfect place in Adams Morgan. Yesterday they’d signed the lease, and tomorrow they were moving in. It was bittersweet.

“So dear? How did it go?” Maz asked feigning innocence.

 _Of course, she already knows, Rey thought_. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” she said,

Maz shrugged. Her large expressive eyes gave her away as she tried to hide her smile by taking a sip of wine.

Finn’s eyes darted between them. “I’m confused,” he said,

“Maz called Leia before my interview.-”  it clicked “-She told you not to tell me! So she could stage that ordeal with Ben!” Rey said. Maz took another sip of wine. She gave up trying to conceal her amusement.

“Ben?” asked Finn,

Rey ignored him. “Jesus, Maz! I called him an asshole in front of her”

Maz waved her hand dismissively. “Slipped my mind, dear,” she said,

“Maz!-” Rey said,

Finn coughed, “Who's Ben?” he asked,

“Leia’s elitist asshole of a son.” Rey looked at Maz “That would’ve been useful information before I told him so in front of his mother” she said,

Finn’s eyebrows shot up “You called Representative Organa’s son an elitist asshole? In front of her?” he asked,

“Yes-” she said,

“Rey!-” he said,

“He is though! It doesn’t make any sense. Leia is incredible. She’s so… so her.” she paused “But, he took it upon himself to suggest that I should’ve practiced walking in heels more. Also, my blazer doesn’t match my pants. I don’t understand how that prick came from her” she said,

Finn’s forehead crinkled. “They're both black?” he asked,

Exasperated she said,  “Apparently they're distinctly different shades of black.”

Maz laughed. “It’s good to know Ben hasn’t changed,” she said,

Rey blinked. “You know him?” she asked,

“I know the whole family dear,” Maz said,

“You could’ve warned me Maz! I was mortified” she said,

“Did you get the job?” she asked,

“Yes-” Rey said,

“Then I don’t see the issue darling,” Maz said,

“Maz!” she said,

“Ben scares people. I’m sure it’ll be refreshing for him to have you in the mix. He’ll warm up to you” Maz said,

Rey snorted. “He’s a cold ass-bastard. He’ll warm up when Hell freezes over.” she said,

“What did he do?” Finn asked, “Aside from the fashion advice?”

“He implied in front of Leia that I wasn’t good enough to be even an intern since I went to OU, not Harvard. Unlike his lordship, Prince of entitlement. Sneering down upon those who didn’t grace the halls of the Ivies,” she said. Rey reached for the Chinese Maz had ordered in.

Finn took a sip of wine “That’s when you called him an asshole?” he asked,

“Yeah,” she said, mouth half full of orange chicken.

“He sounds like the kind of asshole who’d make fun of you for talking with food in your mouth,” he said. Rey threw a fortune cookie at his head.

“Not Harvard, Georgetown,” Maz said,

Rey rolled her eyes. “My point still stands,” she said,

“I don’t get it,” Finn said, opening the cookie.

“Well, technically Georgetown isn’t an Ivy League. But, I suppose you could call him a hypocritical asshole next time he insults you-” Maz said, “-and I’m sure there will be a next time”,

Rey groaned. “We’re going to kill each other,” she said.

“Oh! Look! ” Finn said,  “ My fortune cookie says ‘soon your best friend will kill a man, learn where to hide the body, or get a lawyer.” he said,  “I’ll help you hide the body. I can’t afford a lawyer. Do you think the Potomac River to obvious?" he asked,

Rey finished her wine.

\----- 

_Maz: Fall madly in love._

_Maz: Definitely._

_Leia: He broke a lamp, Maz!_

_Maz: Like I said. Madly in love._  

_Leia: You owe me a lamp_

_Maz: I’m giving her up for you. I owe you nothing_

_Leia: Fair enough._

_Leia: It was a nice lamp though._

_Maz: Madly in love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, a big thank you to everyone who left kudos, bookmarked, and or left comments!  
> There will be more Reylo in the following chapters! I promise. I need it too.  
> Chapter title comes from the mottos Ben and Rey's respective alma maters.  
> Georgetown, Utraque Unum: From both, one.  
> University of Oklahoma (OU): Civi et Reipublicae: For the benefit of the Citizen and the State.


	3. The Black Vera Wang; Part. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah.” he laughed nervously. “Well, maybe you can clear things up tonight at the bar. Poe said Mr. Asshole will grace us with his presence. I’m excited to see him up close. I mean-” he said,  
> “Finn,” she said,  
> He looked at his clothes. “Shit, do my blacks match? I don’t want to start a bar fight,” he said,  
> She looked at him blankly. “I’m not going,” she said,  
> Finn sat down next to her. He said “Please-”,  
> “Finn!” she said “He hates me. He broke a lamp the first time we spoke! I can deal with that at the office, but willingly socializing? I draw the line.”  
> “So, he made fun of your clothes-” he said,  
> She stood up, and stared at him.“You think this about clothes?” she said,  
> Finn shook his head. “Rey-” he said,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me at https://mvebh.tumblr.com/ I just started this tumblr and I'd love to chat!

Rey stood in her room frowning.  _ I should’ve bought the second shelf  _ she thought.

The one she’d gotten was crammed with books. Still, stacks of books stood scattered across her new room. Several boxes of records sat open but unpacked. An unopened package lay on her new mattress. She’d treated herself to memory foam. She threw herself on it, sinking down into the plushness.

Initially, the bed had been one of the strangest aspects of her grandfathers. After years of sleeping on cheap beds that bared a striking resemblance to concrete. The guest bed that became her’s was so soft. She didn’t know until then that beds could be that comfy. At first, she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t bear to. Fearing that once she did, she’d have to assimilate to the rock hard bed of Platt’s. That first week with her grandfather, she walked on eggshells. She was terrified he’d send her back.

She fiddled with the package; 

_ “Well, it’s not much but its home. The guest room isn’t much right now.” he laughed “I haven’t had many guests over the years. But it has a bed, and it’ll be yours. We can get more things for it of course, but I wanted to wait for you. I wasn’t sure what you’d like.” he said _

_ Rey stared at the shelves lining the walls. Everyone crammed with books.  She’d only ever owned one book, and it was in her backpack. A smaller shelf stood separate from the rest. All the spines were long and thin. _

_ ‘Magazines maybe?’ she thought. _

_ “Rey?” he asked, _

_ She blinked at him. She hadn’t been listening “Yes?” she asked, _

_ “I asked if you liked reading,” he said,  _

_ “Yes!” she said, “I’ve never seen this many books in one place outside a library”. _   


_ She forgot all her nerves and apprehensions about him. This man who’d appeared out of nowhere told her to call him 'Obi' and whisked her away to the middle of America. _

_ “I only have one book,” she said. She set her backpack down and pulled her book out, “I take it everywhere” she said handing it to him. It was a simple gesture. Almost meaningless to anyone else. They understood this was sacred. _

_ “Pride and Prejudice,” he said, _

_ Shyly, She smiled. “It’s my favorite,” she said, _

_ He dropped down onto the couch.“ An impressive choice. I see the love of Austen is genetic.” he said, _

_ She plopped down next to him, and looked up with wide eyes “Austen is your favorite?” she asked. _

_ “Oh yes,” he chuckled“I didn’t read her though until I was 15. You picked it up at 12. Amazing taste” he said,  _

_ Rey blushed, and her eyes darted to the floor. He contemplated her. “When did you read it?” he asked. _

_ Her eyes glued to her feet, in a voice just above a whisper, she said: “I was 10,”.  _

_ “Ten years old?” he asked,  _

_ Rey’s heart stopped. She’d done it. It took less than two days. She’d gone and been too smart. Unkar always told her no one liked the smartest kid in the class. She could see his smirk. She could hear his glee when he would say ‘I told you so’. She tensed up. ‘I will not cry, I will not cry’ she thought. _

_ “That's incredible.” he beamed at her “Obviously we’ll have to some bookshelves for your room right away,” he said, _

_ Amazed that he wasn’t upset, she said, “I only have the one-”, _

_ He grinned wide and toothy. “We’ll change that shortly,” he said, _

_ Emboldened she let her curiosity speak. “What kind of books are those?” she asked, nodding toward the small shelf. _

_ He laughed. It was rich and deep. It made Rey feel safe. “Those aren’t books sunshine,” he said, “they're records” _

_ ‘Sunshine…’ she thought.  _

_ “Oh,” she paused, still registering that he’d called her ‘sunshine’. She’d seen parents call their children honey, pumpkin, or sweetheart. She had always wondered… Her heart swelled. “Records?” she asked, _   


_ “Like CDs I suppose.” he sighed  “A relic of a more civilized time,” he said. He got up and walked over to the shelf. He smiled at her and took a record off the shelf. “You’ll hear this one more than you’ll be able to count. I want to be there for the first” he said placing the record on a strange table. Then, _

_ “OOOOKLAHOMA! Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains!” sung voices.  _

_ ‘Like a CD player,’ she thought, _

_ Her grandfather began to sing. “And the waving wheat it sure smells sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain.” he sung.  _

_ He pulled her off the couch and winked. “OOOOKLAHOMA” they sang together in the spinning around the living room. _

Rey smiled at the memory. After that day he’d get her a new book, or record every week. He still sent her his weekly find, even after she’d moved half a continent away. She ripped open the package.

She laughed as she pulled out ‘The Complete Speeches of Abraham Lincoln’ from the box. A record “Oklahoma!, “and an accompanying letter. A twenty fell out.

_ Dearest Sunshine, _

_ I trust your new apartment is already overflowing with books and records. Nevertheless, I shall persist (understand the reference?) in providing more material for your “magpie nest” as Finn says. I’ve included some money for you to buy some plants. I’m trying my hardest to keep alive the ones you left with me, but I don’t have your gifts sunshine. I apologize in advance for what I’m sure will be their premature death. _

_ Have I ever told you that ever since I first studied Lincoln, I’ve has a recurring dream about reading the Gettysburg Address aloud, in the Lincoln Memorial at night? For a while, it would just be me, and then you, my sunshine appeared. So I perhaps I’ll live vicariously through you. Remember “malice toward none”. Anyways that’s enough Lincoln talk. We both know I can go on forever, so I’ll quit while I’m ahead. _

_ I hope you enjoy the record. I was listening to these the other night, and it brought back so many memories of you. _

_ I miss you dearly, sunshine. I’m so so proud of you. It feels like just yesterday, you came home for the first time and didn’t know what a record was. I can’t tell you how old I felt. Anyways. Remember to call your dear old grandfather. Tell Finn I said hello. I’ll see you soon sunshine. _

_ Love, _

_ Obi _

Rey closed her eyes.  _ I miss him so much _ she thought, making a mental note to send the mini-Lincoln bust she’d gotten for him at the Memorial. She carefully folded the letter back up and placed it in a box on the nightstand. There was a knock at her door.

“Come in,” she said.

As he opened the door Finn snorted when he saw the stacks of books. “I told you’d need another shelf,” he said,

She threw a pillow at him. “Can I help you?” she asked, 

“Poe called-” he said,

“Oh?” she smiled teasingly “What did your boyfriend have to say?” she asked,

He rolled his eyes. “Rey-” he said, 

“ _ Finn _ ,” she said, 

“He’s not my boyfriend-” he said, 

Rey smirked. “Sure...” she said, 

“Rey! He’s not my boyfriend!” he said, 

She rolled her eyes. “What did your non-boyfriend want?” she asked, 

Finn sighed. “He invited us out tonight,” he said,

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure he meant us?” she asked, 

“Yes!” he said, “He told me there would be a lot of people from Leia’s staff, and he wants to introduce you. Especially since you’ve already managed to create a reputation.” he grinned “Apparently, you’re friend Ben broke a lamp when you left”

“Definitely not my friend-” Rey blinked. “-He broke a lamp?” she asked,

“A nice one,” he said, “Anyways, Poe wants you to meet everyone. He also wanted me to apologize for not being there the day of your interview. Leia sent him to some field stuff in Maryland for the campaign”

Rey didn’t hear the second part. “A lamp?” she asked, 

“A nice one,” he said, 

She shook her head. “Jesus Christ,” she said, “How, and I mean  _ how _ did he come from Leia Organa” 

Finn looked straight ahead and took a deep breath. “It gets worse,” he said,

Concerned, she asked “He broke two lamps?”,

Finn wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Poe may have mentioned an office pool about you two...” he said, 

“Finn, why aren't you looking at me?” she asked, 

Still refusing to look at her, he said, “They might be betting on how long you’ll take to murder each other or....”

Her eyes narrowed. She had an inkling of where this was going. She wasn’t a fan. “Or what?” she asked,

“Please remember that I’m not to blame in any way for this. I don’t even work there. I’m a poor law student. I’m just the messenger, who again is a complete innocent-.” he said, 

“ _ Finn! _ ” she said,

He tensed up and took another deep breath. “Or how long it’ll take for you to fuck,” he said,

She shot up. “Fuck!” she said, 

He looked at her, shrugged, and smiled “Well yeah, that’s what they're betting on,” he said,

She threw another pillow at his face. “Again, just the messenger. No need for a Defcon 4 pillow assault” he said,

Rey wasn’t listening. She held her face in her hands “Leia, Ben. and I... We were the only ones there. How-” she rubbed her eyes “Amanda- no, Jessika!” she said,

“Jessika?” he asked

Rey flopped back down. She groaned. “The secretary. She must’ve heard the whole thing” she said. 

“Ah.” he laughed nervously. “Well, maybe you can clear things up tonight at the bar. Poe said Mr. Asshole will grace us with his presence. I’m excited to see him up close. I mean-” he said, 

“Finn,” she said, 

He looked at his clothes. “Shit, do my blacks match? I don’t want to start a bar fight,” he said, 

She looked at him blankly. “I’m not going,” she said, 

Finn sat down next to her. He said “Please-”, 

“ _ Finn! _ ” she said “He hates me. He broke a lamp the first time we spoke! I can deal with that at the office, but willingly socializing? I draw the line.” 

“So, he made fun of your clothes-” he said, 

She stood up, and stared at him.“You think this about clothes?” she said, 

Finn shook his head. “Rey-” he said,

“He humiliated me, Finn! He made me feel small. He spoke to Leia like I wasn’t there” she lowered her voice “He tried to make me feel like nothing, a scavenging social climber on a day I’ve been dreaming about since I was 14!  _ Ten years Finn! _ I lost my temper in front of her, Leia-fucking-Organa, the woman I’ve idolized forever. She’s the model of poise; the queen of grace under fire. For Christ sake. He didn’t have to- ” she took a deep breath “-He made me feel small, Finn,” she said,  

He stood up and wrapped her in his arms. “Rey, you aren’t small. You are not nothing. Don’t let the asshole win.” he said, into her hair.

Rey sighed “Finn...” she said, 

He stepped back and put his hand on her shoulders.“Rey, he's a dick. You’ve dealt with them before, and you don’t let them win. Would Ruth Bader Ginsburg avoid social events, because a man who had insulted her would be there?” he asked,

“No, but-” she said, 

“No, she wouldn’t,” he said, 

She dropped to the bed, laid her her head on his shoulder, and she said, “Finn...” 

“Make RBG proud Rey. Face the patronizing patriarchy head-on” he said, 

She sat up, straightened her back, and smiled. It was her brave face smile. The smile she’d honed for years. Sometimes it even fooled her. “Fine. But only because you’re hopelessly in love with Poe, and need a wingwoman” she said,

He threw the pillow at her. 

* * *

The door’s bell chimed, as she walked in.  _ Ben Solo, _ she thought,  _ is not the reason I’m here. It’s just God telling me to suck it up and buy some new clothes. _

Rey wandered to Ashoka’s store after she’d emptied her entire closet trying to decide what to wear. Ashoka had worked with her grandfather. They'd been on joint American/British military operations during the Cold War. When Rey interned for Maz she’d worked in the store too. The internship was great, but the pay wasn’t enough for Rey to have anything in savings. Ashoka had been dying to dress Rey’s look since she first visited at 14 with her grandfather. Back then Rey indulged her. Ashoka would only send her back to Oklahoma with a few things. Obi paid. Ashoka wouldn’t let her pay. Rey wouldn’t take anything Ashoka offered without paying. She was too stubborn. Still, she’d find clothes the bottom of her backpack. Ashoka was stubborn too. 

“Ashoka” she yelled, the woman appeared from behind a beaded curtain. Rey would never get over how little Ashoka had aged. Intellectually, Rey knew she was at least 65, but damn if she didn’t look a day over 35.  _ It’s like she isn’t human _ she thought.

“Rey!” she moved to give her a hug, “How did the interview go?” she asked, 

“It went well! I got the job...” she said, 

Ashoka frowned “Rey,” she said, 

“I called Congresswomen Organa’s son an elitist asshole.” Rey paused, and squeezed her eyes shut “In front of the congresswoman” she said, 

_ Will that ever get less humiliating to say out loud?  _ she wondered

“Why?” Ashoka asked, 

“A number of reasons. One of the many, he laid out so kindly to me was the black on my pants, didn’t match the black of my blazer.” she said, and gestured towards the store “I’m taking it as a sign from God to finally buy some new clothes” 

Ashoka laughed. “Ben Solo- that son of a bitch,”  she said, 

_ Did everyone in this town know he was Leia’s son? And didn’t think to tell me? _ she thought “You know him?” Rey asked, 

“Mostly, by reputation. I met him a few times when he lived at home as a kid. Leia is an old family friend. Her father was my S.O. back in the day, before I left the Marines to ‘find myself’” she laughed “Then I found myself in the CIA. Right back in the mess.” she paused, briefly a sad smile flicked across her face, “he was furious...” she said, 

_Obi smiled like that sometimes_ she thought. She there was a deeper story, but she didn’t ever ask. __

Ashoka shook her head. Then grinned at Rey and bounced toward the front and flipped the open sign over to closed. “I’m giving you a new wardrobe. On the house,”  


Rey opened her mouth to protest. Ashoka lifted a hand, and said,  “Darling, I live for making people eat their words. Especially, Skywalkers. I’m doing this just as much for myself as I am for you. So don’t even start. Come on, I’ve got so many questions”

Again she thought, _Ben Solo,_ _is not the reason I’m here. It’s just God telling me to suck it up and buy some new clothes. Ben Solo, is not the reason I’m here..._

She sighed but didn’t protest. 

“Earth to Rey,” she said, 

“Sorry” Rey smiled in apology. “What questions?” she asked,  


“Favorite color?” Ashoka asked,  


“Green,” she said,  


Ashoka was circling Rey, like a man on a mission. “Okay, give me another,” she said,  


Rey shrugged, and said “Blue?”  


Pausing to look at her, Ashoka closed her eyes and said, “Those are both very vague ranges darling. Give me specific shades.”  


“Okay? I guess- Earthy colors? Deeper blues? Like the ocean…but not tropical”  


Ashoka hummed in approval. “Good, good. You’ve got warmer undertones- I think. Honestly, I can never tell, but you look like you lived somewhere hot.” she said,

Rey blinked at Ashoka. “Oklahoma?” she asked,

Ashoka shrugged “That's southern-ish. Right?” she said “Oh! How do you feel about yellow?”  


“As long as I don’t look like the Morton Salt girl,” Rey said,  


“Excellent,” she said. Ashoka practically danced through her store. Glancing at Rey every time she picked something up. Everything wound up in Rey’s lap or on the floor discarded with a disapproving noise.  


An hour later Rey had three bags filled with clothes. “This is too much,” she said,  


“Nonsense.” she said,  “Like I said, this is more for me”  


In jest, Rey rolled her eyes. Then she smiled genuinely “Thank you, Ashoka. Honestly. Thank you.” she said,  


“Thank you for indulging me. Darling” she said “Oh!”- she disappeared behind a beaded curtain. A few minutes later she appeared. A black velvet jumpsuit, and platform shoes in hand - “These blacks match.  Also, platforms are so easy to walk in. Plus, it’s a hell of a look. Not an everyday look, naturally. It’s a black Vera Wang. This is you want Ben Solo to choke on his drink when he sees you.” Rey snorted “Wear it tonight,” she said,  


* * *

Rey stood in her room grinning, and looking in the mirror. Ashoka was right, she looked good. Very good.  


* * *

Poe was talking at Ben, about some guy named Finn. At best he was best half-listening. Poe had been pining over this guy for weeks. As he took a drink, Poe yelled“Finn! Rey! Over here!”  


_ Shit. Why is she here? Shit, _ he thought. He took another drink, as looked up to see her walking towards them. 

He choked on his drink. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written entire academic papers shorter than this. Honest to God this chapter might be the longest thing I've ever written.   
> I had to split this into two parts, because, oh boy its a lot.   
> For my West Wing Fans; I did steal the title of this chapter from S3E21 'The Black Vera Wang' but I can assure you that's where the similarities stop. No tragic CJ/Simon plotline here I promise.   
> Again thank you so much to everyone who has left comments or kudos. I'd always seen fic writers say that those meant the world and I didn't fully get it until now. I don't know what I was expecting/wanting reaction-wise from this, but the reality supersedes that. Thank you, thank you, thank you for joining me during this.   
> Oh! I also made a reylo specific tumblr so if you wanna check me out there please feel free! https://mvebh.tumblr.com/


	4. The Black Vera Wang; Part. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the brief absence. College just started back up and yikes. I'm already drowning in reading.

Poe nudged Ben “Don’t you have something to say to Rey?” he said,

Ben glared at Poe and mouthed “fuck you”,  Poe grinned. Rey coughed. Ben looked at her, then looked down. “It may have been pointed out to me that I was an asshole Thursday,” he said. 

Rey snorted “No shit.” she took a sip of her drink “ or was I too subtle?” she asked, 

Ben smirked “Subtlety doesn’t strike me as your strong suit,” Ben said, 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re not used to this,” she said, 

He looked up. “Sorry?” he asked,

Rey smiled at him, and laughed “Exactly,” she said,

Ben ears reddened, he glanced at Poe who was still grinning. “Apologizing Ben,” he said, 

“Oh…” Ben said, “I mean, uh…”

“I’m just messing with you Ben,” she said, 

“I’m sorry I was an ass?” he said, 

She extended her hand “Truce?” she asked, 

Finn and Poe watched the two with bated breath. Ben took her hand “Truce” he said, 

“I propose a toast-”  Poe said, “-to Leia,”

“To Leia,” they said and clinked their glasses together 

Finn smiled and looked at Rey, then Poe “So my dear capital insider people, tell me. Is Danny Concannon right about why Snoke isn’t running for re-election?” he asked,

“Who?” Ben asked, “I missed the name” 

“Danny Concannon,” Finn said, 

Ben’s eyes darted to the floor. Rey recognized a flash of fear.

_ "Why would he be scared of Danny?" _ she thought. 

“But he’s a White House reporter. Why is writing about Snoke?” he asked, 

“He wrote a piece that dropped right before we got here. About the Kylo Ren Dossier. He connected every shady Republican back to Snoke.-” Ben’s jaw clenched, and Poe sucked in a deep breath.  “-He also has credible sources that implicate the president. Apparently, people in the West Wing are flipping shit. How is an already unpopular shady as hell Republican White House going to deal with the fallout of an already competitive midterm? Safe seats are being vacated across the country because of the Ren dossier. Seats that have been Red for decades are vulnerable. Concannon's story blew the whistle.” she said,

“So that’s the question, right?” Finn asked,  “Why hasn’t Snoke exposed Kylo Ren yet? I mean his identity is DC’s best-kept secret. He’s like Voldemort,  ‘He-who-shall-not-be-seen’. He’s been Snoke's ‘blue killer’ for years. Snoke has to know who he is. So Ren must have something bad on him. Right?” 

Poe shuffled uncomfortably in his seat glancing at Ben’s hand under the table, his fist clenched. 

“He has too,” Rey said, 

“So, why doesn’t Ren just bite the bullet and come out of the shadows? Take Snoke and anyone else out with one fatal swoop?” Finn asked

Ben’s grip on his beer tightened.“You’re kidding right?” Rey asked,

“No, he’s being cowardly. Protecting himself. While Snoke sits in that seat passing shit laws that hurt millions.” Finn said, “it’s selfish.” 

Poe squirmed, one eye still on Ben. “Rey, that jumpsuit is amazing. Is it a Vera Wang?” he asked, 

Rey laughed, “Yes-” she said,

Ben’s grip tightened around his beer. “You’re right about Ren. He’s an asshole,” he said, 

Poe took an audibly deep breath. Rey rolled her eyes. Finn blinked and coughed on his drink startled. “Sorry?” he asked,

“Sure, but at least trying not to be a complete monster,” Rey said, 

“Trying?” He sneered, his grip tightened. “He is a monster. Your boyfriend is right, he’s got something on Snoke and that’s the only thing keeping his sorry ass safe,” he said, 

“Damn...” Poe said inaudibly under his breath. 

Finn’s face flushed. “I’m not-“ he said, 

Rey’s blood ran hot. “First off, Finn’s not my boyfriend and you know that. It’s obvious to anyone with a pulse that him a Poe have been eye-fucking the entire time we’ve been here. Stop being a goddamn ass. We literally just went over this. Hasn’t anyone ever told you to learn from the past” she said, 

Ben’s thoughts escaped his mouth.“I wish I could let the past die,” he said, 

“Is that a My Chemical Romance song?” Rey asked. Finn snorted. Poe kicked him. “If you let the past die, then all sins should be forgiven when Ren balances out his ledger.” 

“He can’t balance his ledger,” he said, and squeezed his hands tighter, trying to breathe like Dr. Connix had told him. He didn’t notice the glass started to crack. 

“Why do you say-” Ben’s beer bottle came apart in his hands “-that…” she said, 

“Jesus Christ!” Finn said, jumping back from the table. 

“Shit Ben are you okay-” Poe reached for napkins, “Let me help,” he said, 

Ben looked at his hand which was covered in blood. “I’m sorry-” he grabbed a napkin, pulled a twenty out of his wallet, and stood up “-I’m sorry. I gotta go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry...” he said,

“Ben…” Poe said, 

Ben ducked his head. “I’m sorry…” he said, 

Rey stared at him. “Ben-” He looked straight into her, his eyes said  _ “Please let it go. Let me go”  _ Rey blinked, disarmed by him, looking at her like... that. “-be safe,” she said, just above a whisper. 

A waiter approached the table, “Sir, is everything okay?” he asked, Ben pushed passed him towards the door. He glanced back at her, and then the door slammed behind him. Leaving only his beer dripping from the table, and blood dotting the floor. 

Rey sat in shock. “What the fuck? What the f-” Finn said,

Poe didn’t look up from his phone. “Can we go back to y’all's apartment?”, Finn raised his eyebrows. “The walls have ears, I’ll explain once we get back,” he said,  

“Yeah okay,” Finn said, 

Poe’s phone buzzed. “Leia said she’ll take care of the dry cleaning for the Vera Wang” He nodded at her chest. 

Rey noticed for the first time she was covered in beer.

* * *

_ Poe: SOS _

_ Poe: SOS  _

_ Poe: SOS _

_ Leia: Poe I swear if this about that boy again… _

_ Poe: it’s Ben.  _

_ Leia: What happened? _

_ Poe: at the bar with Rey and Finn. They brought up Ren… _

_ Leia: Shit.  _

_ Leia:  is everyone okay? _

_ Poe: Ben left, but not before shattering his beer bottle while holding it.  _

_ Poe: What do I do?  _

_ Poe: Also Rey is covered in beer.  _

_ Leia: Do you trust Finn?  _

_ Poe: Yes?  _

_ Leia: You can tell them.  _

_ Leia: The short version.  _

_ Leia: I’ll fill Rey in.  _

_ Leia: Also let her know I’ll cover the dry cleaning. _

_ Poe: Are you sure? _

_ Leia: I can handle covering dry cleaning _

_ Poe: Leia…. _

_ Leia: I trust her.  _

* * *

_ Leia: you owe me for Rey’s dry cleaning _

_ Ben: I’m sorry.  _

_ Leia: I’m going to have to tell her the whole story _

_ Ben: I know.  _

_ Ben: I’m sorry.  _

_ Leia: Do you want to talk about it?  _

 

_ Incoming call from Ben Solo _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun sorta cliff-hanger... sorry   
> so I ended up editing this down quite a bit because I didn't love it. Which is why I've taken so long to update. That, and the fall semester just started for me and I've been swamped as previously mentioned. I've kinda got a feel for things with my schedule. By that, I mean as much as is possible in college (rip).   
> I'll be back soon though!


	5. Close, But No Cigar

Rey paced back and forth across the wood floor. Poe and Finn sat on the couch. She knew she looked a mess. She hadn’t taken the time to change out of her beer drenched clothes when they’d gotten back to the apartment. All she’d done is rub her eyes,  ruin her mascara, ditch her shoes, and thrown her hair up. Anxiety pulsed off her. Every few seconds she’d looked at Poe as if to ask another question only to turn back to pacing. Her brain was running fifty miles per hour trying to process what Poe had said. She for the first time since meeting Ben Solo felt like a complete ass.

 

“Fuck” she muttered to herself.

 

“Rey, it’s not your fault…” Poe said,

 

She stopped pacing, turning on her heels to look at him. “That doesn’t change the fact I brought up was an obviously painful memory. Fuck… I’m such an ass!” she collapsed into the nearest chair, and buried her face in her hands. “Poe, my dear Poe why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” she asked,

 

Poe shifted in his seat. “Rey..:” 

 

She looked up from her hands. “Christ, if you had told me that Ben had gotten mixed up with Kylo Ren. Right when all the Vader shit blew up… I would’ve never…” she closed her eyes “Damnit!” she said, hitting the arm of the chair. 

 

Poe fidgeted nervously “Rey please, Ben doesn’t like to talk about it, or frankly like it when people know... “ she groaned, “So, don’t worry about it. There is no way you could’ve known Ben worked with Kylo Ren before. Almost no one knows. He doesn’t even usually go into panic mode when Ren is mentioned. You just caught him on a bad night” 

 

“I feel like shit. I mean Kylo Ren came out of nowhere and made life hell for Leia when she was Secretary of State after the Vader ordeal. Of course Ben hates Ren. Hell, I’ve hated Ren with a passion for ages after what he did to Leia, and the Party. He just seems like he’s trying to come back? Fix it.” she sunk further into her chair.  “I had to stick to my ‘everyone is redeemable’ childhood trauma shit. Especially because of Ben. He’s just... there is a weird unexplainable thing, This primal urge…” she said, 

 

Poe’s eyebrows shot up. “A primal urge?” he said failing to keep a straight face, delighted he’d found a way to ease the tension.

 

Finn snorted “Yeah I’m officially going even money on fuck and kill,” 

 

Rey groaned, willing the chair to eat her whole. “That’s not what I meant!” 

 

Finn smirked and shrugged “Yeah, okay peanut,”

She threw a pillow at him and stood up. “Goodnight you two” she started toward her room “I wasn’t kidding about the eyefucking. The sexual tension is unbearable for everyone.” she said over her shoulder.

 

Finn coughed on his drink, unable to catch his breath. Rey winked at him. “Fuck you,” he muttered not quite under his breath.

 

Poe’s face cycled through embarrassment and amusement. Rey shrugged her shoulders and disappeared down the hall, she paused at her door and smiled mischievously. “Use protection! The CDC says STD’s are on the rise! Condoms are in the medicine cabinet!” 

 

She heard Poe snort and Finn speaking quickly and incoherently. Then a shuffling sounds followed by the unmistakable sounds of making out. Rey rolled her eyes and slid into her room.

 

* * *

Ben paced in his mother's study. His mind too preoccupied to be more than half conscious of the pain in his left hand. The door creaked open. He spun around.   
  
Leia sighed. “Christ Ben, why didn’t you go to the ER?” extending her hand towards him. “Please, let me look at it,” 

  
Silently he offered his bloodied hand. Leia removed the napkins he’d used as bandages. “Well, there isn’t any glass in there.  That’s a plus.” she released his hand, and moved to sit “I still want you to get it checked out though” she said, collapsing into the couch.    
  
Ben stood rigid, hand hanging at his side. Again she sighed. “Ben. Dear. Please, sit and tell me what happened”    
  
He explained everything, eyes glued to the floor. When Ben finished he looked at her for the first time with big sad eyes. Softly she smiled. He’d never been able to hide anything as a child, his eyes gave him away.  “Mom… I’m so sorry”    
  
She motioned for him to sit next to her “I know dear, I know,” 

  
Ben slowly sat down next to her. She wrapped her arms around him, cradling him the way she had when he was a child.  He sighed into his mom’s shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry Mom,”    
  
She pulled away from him. Tilted his chin up so he was looking her straight in the eyes “Ben, I’m not angry with you. I never was. I love you unconditionally. You’re my son. Your father and I love you endlessly” he tensed “He does Ben. I know you don’t believe that yet. I forgive you for everything Ben. I did the moment you left, and again when you came back. But, you need to forgive yourself dear.” she said squeezing him tighter.    
  
Ben huffed. “That’s what Dr. Connix says too,”    
  
She laughed. “She’s right” Leia laid her head on her son’s shoulder “I love you, Ben” 

 

He closed his eyes. “I love you Mom,” 

 

“So Rey…” she said, 

 

Ben groaned. “I can’t seem to have a conversation with her without breaking something,” 

 

Leia laughed and sat up. “That’s how your father and I were at first” He flinched at the implication. That spark he’d felt wasn’t something he was ready to acknowledge. Leia smiled at her son. Then her eyes  serious “Poe told her the short version.” 

 

Ben took a deep breath “But?” he asked, already knowing the answer.    
  


“I’ll have to tell her the long version sooner or later Ben. I want to bring her inside.” she squeezed his hand “She’ll understand,” 

 

He snorted “Mom. I might not be Kylo Ren anymore, but I was. She’s might’ve thought Ren was redeemable tonight but when she finds out he and I are the same…” he said, shaking his head.

 

“What if I wait” Ben looked sideways at her and raised an eyebrow. “Just a month or two. So she can adjust without having to dance around you. No more lamps get broken. She gets comfortable on the job. Then I’ll tell her.” 

 

He ran his hand through his hair, and sighed “Mom…” 

 

“She’ll get to know you too! That’ll be good. Sure she’ll be upset at first I imagine. I wager she’ll react like Poe-” 

 

He grimaced, and his eye twitched with the memory of that nasty black eye. “You’re right she will definitely punch me. Better get over with sooner than later” 

 

“If you can play nice for two months, I’m sure she’ll come around when she finds out,” 

 

“Mom.” he sighed and stood up “I know you want me to be done with Ren, but there are consequences to what I did. Dancing around them or pushing them off won’t change that.” 

 

Leia stood up. She was a full foot shorter than him, but all five feet and a single inch of her was formidable. 

 

“Ben, please. We’ve talked about this. Stop punishing yourself.” 

 

He smiled sadly at her. “I’m sorry Mom,” 

 

“Give me two months” he took a deep breath “Ben, please,” she said, 

 

Shaking his head, Ben fell back into the chair. “I can’t. I deserve-”  

 

Leia crossed her arms and stared him down. The end of the sentence stuck in his throat. Ben looked away, eyes focused on the carpet. She crouched in front of her son and tilted his chin forcing him to look at her. His eyes glistened. Softly she asked, “One month?” 

 

His resolve dissipated. Ben had always struggled with saying no to Leia. He sighed, defeated, and slumped in his chair.   “Okay,” he said, “One month, but then one of us is going to have to tell her.”

* * *

 

Rey had never been late in her life. She sure as hell wasn’t going to be late on her first day. But even by her standards, she was early. She convinced herself that it was just first day jitters, and luck. The metro had miraculous been a breeze. Stella Nova had her dirty chai ready in two minutes instead of the usual 15, and security was painless. So there she stood staring at the office door. Two hours before Leia told her she needed to be there. She was certain that if someone was standing next to her they’d hear the thumping in her chest. 

_ First day jitters, everything is going to be fine. You have the emergency clonazepam if you need it. Everything is going to be fine  _ she told herself. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and pushed opened the door with a little more force than necessary, straight into the face of Ben Solo. The thumping in her chest stopped, everything stopped as Ben fell to the ground covered in the coffee she’d been holding. 

 

“Oh my god, Ben I’m so sorry. Damnit. I didn’t think anyone would be here. Why were you standing behind the door! Jesus Christ. I wanted to be early since it's my first day, and so I could figure everything out. Oh my God. I’m so sorry. Oh my God. What can I do to help? Fuck your shirt. I’ll pay for the dry cleaning, or a new one if you want.” she said and extended her hand to help him up. 

 

She tensed waiting for him to yell or break another lamp. He didn’t. Instead, he stayed on the floor and laughed. Honest to God hearty laughter, the kind that makes your stomach feel like you just did a series of crunches. Rey blinked. Ben laughed even harder. She was properly freaked. “Are you okay?” she asked, 

 

She noticed he had dimples. “I am fine,” he said between laughs. “I’ve just never been so directly hit in the literal face by karma”

 

He took her hand and she helped pull him off the floor. “Ben, I’m so sorry,” 

 

Breathless but on his feet, he said,  “Honestly it’s fine” he looked down at his shirt which was no longer white but rather a light brown “Well shit,”

 

A new wave of terror flooded Rey and quickly without stopping for air, she said, “Do you want me to run and get you a new shirt? I think there's a Banana Republic a couple streets over. Or a one-hour cleaner?” she shook her head “Shit no. You’d be walking around the Capitol without a goddamn shirt-” 

 

“-Rey, breathe,” 

 

“But your shirt...” 

 

“I keep an extra in my office. Believe or not you’re the first person whose drenched me in coffee.” he snorted “but you are the first to do it on accident,”

 

“You might want to see someone about that,” He flinched. Rey squeezed her eyes shut, and kicked herself “Ben-” 

 

Gone was the laughter “Don’t worry about it, it’s fine” he said tone flat. 

 

Rey took a deep breath, remembering what she’d gone over last night twenty-three thousand times rather than sleeping. “No it’s not” he frowned at her “Look you were an absolute ass when we met. The way you spoke to me and about in front of Leia who-- is a personal hero of mine was not okay. It was humiliating, There was no reason for you treat me like that. You don’t get to treat people like shit just because you feel like shit. I know about Kylo Ren. Poe told me. I don’t know everything that happened, but Poe said y’all were close. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like when he betrayed Leia like that. That's not licensing for you to make others feel small though.”

 

His whole body stiffened. Rey sensed his emotions churning. His anxiety rolled off of him in waves. It was a tangible thing. She flinched. 

 

“I’m sorry I was a bit vindictive. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to call you out when you’re being a dick or walk on eggshells around you. Especially not when Leia is running for Snoke’s Senate seat. If we’re going to beat Hux we have to work together. We need to figure out whatever weird bullshit it is that prevents us from having normal productive interactions, and fix it” she said. 

 

Ben’s heart pounded. The feeling in his gut returned. He was becoming aware that the spark he’d felt only a few days ago had multiplied into a Fourth of July sparkler. Now he was teetering on the edge of a ring of fire. 

 

“Okay,” he whispered

 

“Okay?” 

 

“I do see someone. That’s why I was standing behind the door,”

 

“I’m sorry what?” 

 

“My therapist told me that standing straight against a wall can be grounding.” he rolled his eyes “or relaxing” 

 

“Does it help?” she asked 

 

“I mean this is the first time, and I’ve been laid out by a door.” She smiled, but focused on a something behind him, decidedly not meeting his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck and said “So the jury’s out” 

 

“I meant therapy,” 

 

Ben flinched shifting further away. His eyes drifted down as if he was planning on memorizing the rug. He didn’t talk about therapy with anyone other than his therapist who was legally bound to keep his painful secrets, or his mom who beyond all reason loved him enough to open the dialogue. No one else asked. No one else knew.  No one else cared.

 

He balled his hands up and quickly stole a glance. Her forehead was wrinkled with concern, but not pity. Only genuine curiosity appeared in her eyes. Almost as if she cared for him. Inexplicably he found himself wanting to sit down and talk. Without reason. Everything was on the tip of his tongue. He balled his hands tighter. 

 

Rey panicked, the silence was not a comfortable one. She spoke quickly “I ask because. I don’t have a therapist here yet. So, if they’re any good I thought maybe I could give them a call. See if they take my insurance,” 

 

She shifted her weight between her feet hoping that he couldn’t hear her heart racing. Rey didn’t tell virtual strangers she went to therapy. The stigma was brutal, and worse were the acts of pity. She did not want pity. Especially not that of Ben Solo. This was a peace offering. 

 

He reached for his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He fished a business card out and offered it. 

 

“Her name is Dr. Connix. She’s good. I mean she deals with me so she has to be.” he laughed “Your shit can’t be worse than mine,” 

 

Rey’s blood ran cold. She knew he was trying to be funny. It wasn’t funny. She’d offered an olive branch in the form an admission of vulnerability and he dismissed it. Her eye’s turned icy and Ben froze under her gaze. She saw the realization in his eyes that he’d said the wrong thing. Rey turned toward her desk outside Leia’s door. Directly across from his door. “I-” he started

 

“Thank you for the reference Ben” her tone was colored with cold formality. 

 

Ben grimaced “I didn’t mean-” 

 

She knew that wasn’t what he’d meant. Feeling a lack of caffeine-induced headache starting, she reached for her empty coffee cup. She needed caffeine, and damnit if she didn’t want a Dr. Pepper. 

 

“Is there a vending machine nearby?” she asked, 

 

The conversation was over. Resigned he said, “All the way down the hall and to your left” 

 

“Thanks” 

 

Once out the door, she started to rub her temples. 

‘ _ Civil Rey. You have to be civil”  _ she thought to herself. An internal argument boiled inside her. Ben wasn’t intentionally trying to be an ass. Still, it bothered her. How easily he dismissed her wordless offer of understanding. She’d been trying to say ‘hey I’ve got issues too, my parents abandoned me. So take this deeply personal admission that I do need help despite my best efforts to display otherwise’. 

Intellectually Rey knew that he couldn’t read her mind. They’d known each other for less than a week. It took Finn over a year to learn what triggered Rey. Poe hadn’t cracked it yet either. She couldn’t expect him to know that her telling him she needed a new therapist was a deeply personal thing. 

Emotionally Rey felt once again proverbially slapped in the face by Ben Solo insinuating she didn’t measure up. She hated, absolutely hated feeling dismissed. Her old therapist told her it was because she’d been abandoned as a child. Apparently, that created a compulsory desire to be needed, and any form of dismissal set off an intense reaction based on fear of abandonment.

 

_ “Dear your still trying to please your parents. You’ve been clinging to the idea that if you’re perfect they’ll come back. Whoever you’re waiting for is never coming back. If you let them there will be someone who still could”  _

_ Rey sniffled. Dr. Zam handed her a tissue  _

 

She took a deep breath and glanced down at her phone. Rey smiled and did what never failed to make her happy. 

She called Obi. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, sorry.  
> University, interning on a congressional campaign, working, a dysfunctional family, and running a university chapter of a state-wide organization that has a penchant for drama is exhausting. Also working in/studying American politics at the moment is a hellscape.  
> This has been my lifeline, and what I do in my spare time, which is lacking. Hence the sporadic updates. That said, I know where I'm going from here on out plot-wise, so yay. 
> 
> I snuck in a few canon in-universe easter-eggs. See if you can find them
> 
> Also, these two are children. So close to making nice. So close. And let's be real Ben -heart eyes- Solo definitely falls in love with Rey first in this and every life. 
> 
> PLUS can we just take a moment to appreciate Adam Driver on SNL last night? Like Kanye was a nightmare, but Adam is an actual gem.
> 
> Tumblr: https://mvebh.tumblr.com/


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